Useless Usb Hardware

USB ports, they are pretty crucial to computers and how we use them . We use them for storage drives that can hold whole portfolio’s of memory, we use them for digicams and tiny stereo systems, we use them for keyboards, speakers, and mice, and the odd Humping USB Dog.


Yea, precisely. I’m dead heavy, these exist. Small plastic dogs that “hump” when you plug them into your usb port. They’re not even that rare, though they sound like they can only be found int he darkest corners of the internet-they are for sale at the moment on

Why though? Whats the purpose? They don’t DO anything else! Thousands of useless USB products exist, and they are not inexpensive. I cannot believe a market for these really exist.

Some products i guess have a *bit* of purpose, like the lovingly named “iGrill”. Can you guess what it is? That’s’s RIGHT! It is a USB ported griddle. You download recipes, enter in the type of food, weight and desired degree of doneness, and the iGrill handles the rest. While cooking your one, lonley burger you can get a socially acceptable tan with your USB Desktop tanning center! Available for only $24.99. While tanning you can heat up your USB Fondue set, then plug in your smell 2.0 USB Aromatherapy Oil Burner.

Then you grab your can of caffinated love from your USB LEB “Beverage Cooler”, or heat it up with you USB Cup warmer. Ok, I’d legit like one of those.

But seriously, are USB powered Humidifiers formed like R2-D2 necessary? And USB Christmas Lights? I’m hardly scratching the surface, the list of classes goes on. Hand heaters, heating blankets, breast heaters ( Yea. ), LED everything, singing anime girls, fake plants, food heaters, food coolers, little fake hooting owls, and even a USB pet rock. Yes, the pet rock is back and ready to be connected into your work computer. What does it do? About as much as the Pet Rock from the 70’s, nothing. It does not even take in power! Why does it have a USB port?! Perhaps the “PTeq-USB Pregnancy Test” has SOME purpose.

I don’t know, i can’t help but be confused taking a look at all this stuff. In this point in time many folks like myself are concerned about where they are going to get the money to pay for their phonephone bill, why are there others wasting money on often useless knickknacks? Perhaps when I’m able to the point when my bills are just a minor inconvenience, and I’ll have enough scratch to throw around-I’ll understand. Till then, I just will need to wonder why something like a USB powered “Ghost Radar” exists.

I work at Geek Choice, a nationwide computer repair company. We can help you with: Linksys Setup, Virus Removal, Spyware Removal, Computer startup problems, Printer not printing, Internet Connection Problems, and much more.

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